No Memory, "Numb Pain With Pain"

My tongue tied, no voice to utter words

No power to express the emotions swelling

___________________________________________________________________

For fear had crept in,

And my remembrance tattered,

A flash of incidents that seemed not to matter.

Rendering my thoughts useless and dull,

A past night that held forgotten meanings,

For I only heard the echoes of my own breathing.

Awoken by the cold morning,

And the stinging that writhed down my veins,

For my eyes see the cuts and bloody stains.

No memory of what had become,

How the agony had begun,

For it had ended as soon as it began.

Leaving only lingering pain,

And the recollection of the tears,

That drew lines down my face.

For fear had crept in,

And my memories tattered,

A flash of incidents that seemed not to matter

In truth they had become,

Moments...

That I do not remember.

Locked behind a door...

Concealed...

Forgotten...

To protect myself from getting hurt.

"NUMB THE PAIN WITH PAIN" 

Third Essay

Hey, so I got my English papers back and I"ll be posting my essay like I used to.

This essay is particularly one that I don't really take a liking to, (even when I'm the one who wrote it)

But this is also one of the essays that I have scored a total of 48/50 for once in my high school life.

And yes I'm extremely overjoyed with the score...

The only downside to it is the substance it lacks.

I felt there wasn't any soul in it...?

And the story is pretty easy to predict.

Anyway, hope you all will enjoy this. :)

_                         TRUE STARS                            

Lydia comes form a wealthy family. Her father an entrepreneur while her mother a successful retailer of designer clothes. Any family would kill to be able to live life in luxury. Imagine it, a mansion in white, tailored dresses, butlers and maids, limousines and horses with carriages. Anything you want delivered at your doorstep with a swipe of a credit card. Lydia must be enjoying life, you might think, but Lydia wanted nothing like that. She had dreams of her own but the rules in her home prevented her from doing so.

"Mother, I'm home." There were sounds of maids cleaning the house, pots and pans rattling in the kitchen. The one thing she could not hear was her mother welcoming her home. Lydia got used to that by the time she turned 16. "she must be taking calls from customers again." Lydia went up to her room and let herself fall on the bed. It was a tiring day at school. Lydia and her friend, Audrey had been running around the school premise in search of the school's pet rabbit. During the search, Lydia stumbled upon something that made her recall her big dream, her dream to be a singer.

She heard the melody of a guitar playing, singing that blended into a perfect harmony. It came from the band room. The music made her heart swell with pure emotions. Joy, excitement, longing... Sorrow. Her first love was music, tragically she lost that love on the day her aunt died in an accident when she was 14. Lydia and her aunt were out to catch a concert. She only remembers the faint noises of wailing sirens and the rhythm of falling rain. Later that night on the day of the incident, her parents had an argument. "dear, please stop her from dreaming to be a singer." Her mother begged her father. It was fear of losing Lydia that made her force Lydia to stop her childish dreams. Upon waking up the next morning, her musical instruments were gone. And the song book that her aunt composed specially for her was no where to be found.

Lydia waved away her flashback. Tears were streaming down her face. "well, I guess every rose has its thorns, and every dream has its price." A spark ignited in her, it was her dream. She has regained her Star of dreams. That evening, Lydia decided to live her dream.

At the dinner table, mom and dad were busy with their phones. "Put you phones away..." Lydia mumbled under her breath. She was chanting in her heart, 'Tell them, tell them, tell them, tell them'. Being driven by pure courage, Lydia stood from her seat and said, " Mom, Dad, I wanna be a singer." The dining room fell silent. Mom and dad stopped in the middle of their conversations over the phone. Lydia could see the horror on her mother's face while her dad put on his poker face. "I decided to live my dream to be a singer. But I know..." She gazes at her mom with pleading eyes. "I know I can never do it alone." Turning towards her father, "Dad, I know you and mom want me safe. I'm turning 17 soon and there are some things that I have to decide on my own." Her voice was shaking, her lips, quavering. She was afraid what her parents would say but she felt a hand on her shoulders. "Sweetie..." Her dad started...

On the day of Lydia's graduation, her mom and dad were there to attend the graduation ceremony. Lydia went to a university specialized in music after high school. Without beating about the bush, yes, she was given approval to pursue her dreams that night. 'True Stars Never Give Up', the motto of the university.

"Mom, dad... Thanks for coming. I thought you would be busy with work." The three of them hugged. "I would never miss the day of our daughter's graduation!" Her father leaned in closer to Lydia and gave her a kiss on her the forehead. "You did well, dear" Mom pecked to quick kisses on her cheeks. "Thank you." The joy in Lydia's heart was overflowing and in burst when Audrey appeared. "Audrey! I missed you so much!" The both of them gave each other a big hug. "Lydia, I've got HUGE news!" Audrey grabbed Lydia by the shoulders. Lydia's eyes opened wide in curiosity. After seconds of silence and excitement building up, Audrey says : "Your single you did for the final exam is on the market!" It took a little while for Lydia to let the news sink in. "You, girlfriend, are going to be famous! That single topped the charts for 'Best New Single'!"

Overwhelmed, grateful, there were too many feelings that filled her. She was glad she never gave up that dream, she was grateful to find her Star of dreams.

A dreamer who dreams and works hard to catch that dream in the sky of stars, they are True Stars.

          END          

朋友，我们会想念你 ❤

（2014年6月18日）

没想到你人会突然从这世界消失

我们，都好希望你人你人会坚强，醒来告诉我们你会没事

最后，你真的离开了。。。

在另个天堂，林文强， 你安息吧 :')

所和你分享的每刻，我们一定怀念

虽然一开始会不习惯；

尤其没得在学校见到你，没得在班上和你聊天、开玩笑、家人没得和你一起吃饭、没得一起出去玩，

想起和你的点点滴滴。。。

会无言无辜掉泪。。。

可是我们答应，会为你而坚强

我们是你一辈子的兄弟姐妹！

×鞠躬×

我们最大的帅哥～ 永永远远在我们心里～

520 13

My Essay ≧^◡^≦

I got back my essay papers from the teacher a few days ago.
Now, I'm here to post it.
It isn't something great, and from my own opinion it's actually kinda boring.
BUT! It's all to the readers whether they get a thumbs up or not. :)
Feel free to leave your comments about it. Here goes!

      Suddenly I could not move.  The pressure and the weight of an invisible force pushed down on me.  The air turned cold and warm rapidly and smelled of burned ashes.  My eyes darted around my room, frantically searching for a way to free myself.  Then, colors appeared like the sparks of fireworks on a new year's day.  Bright, vibrant colors of blue, purple, orange, yellow, painting a portrait that seemed to be paradise before my eyes.

      The pressure I felt before vanished and my body could move again. I felt my hands caressing something cold and wet.  My bolted jolted up and I stood on my bare feet.  It was grass I was standing on.  Green, lush tufts of grass with morning dew.  The sky was painted golden like the morning sun.  Trees were swaying in the breeze, their leaves of the autumn season.  I started exploring.

      During the journey, my lips were shut sealed but my eyes wide open, drinking all the beauty through my eyes greedily.  The river I had passed not to long ago was crystal clear and had shiny stones sitting at the bottom.  There were flowers that sang just like in the movie Alice In Wonderland.  "Alice?"  I blurted.  My heart skipped a beat at the thought of myself being in Wonderland.  "That is just outrageous!  There can be no way that I am in wonderland.  It is not real!"  I talked to myself out aloud and shook my head to throw the thoughts away.  Wonderland?  I might be losing my head.  I continued walking.

      Before I realized it, I found myself closing in to an area where the trees, flowers and grass were nothing but burned wood and ashes.  That was what I smelled, the scent of burnt ashes.  The ground was barren and dry.  There were no birds and flowers singing, there was only the still breeze and the dead land.  I suddenly heard a scurrying coming from behind a dead hollow tree.  I was afraid but curiosity was a bigger threat than fear.  My legs were shaking, my heart was beating madly each time my feet brought me closer to the tree.  My black hair smelled of ashes as a few locks fell on my face as I was leaning down to see what made the sound and...  BAM!  I fell on my back.  The wind got knocked out of me when it jumped on me.  What was 'it'?

      I whispered as I opened my eyes, I was scared.  Just like that, my fear faded.  'It' was a white fox.  Big beady eyes, white fluffy fur, small paws and two foxy ears.  "Hello there!"  I jumped to my feet.  The fox landed on its paws.  "Did, did you just say hello!?"  Panicked, surprised, shocked.  I wasn't quite sure how i should feeling then  "My. my.  Don't you remember me?"  The fox cocked his head to one side, looking at me with steady eyes.  My body released the tension and I stood calmly with my hands at the side.  My white night gown feeling dusty on my hands.  "Might I ask...  Are we in Wonderland?"  I asked the fox as my eyes looked around the surroundings.  "Hahaha.  Silly girl, this is not Wonderland.  Wonderland is just a story, is it not?"  It paused for a moment.  "I would have to reintroduce myself now, don't I?  My name is Doyle.  Come now."  Before I could speak he stood up, it startled me.  A fox standing like a man?  He took me by the hand, with a whirl and a twist, we were somewhere else.

      Doyle explained to me the existence of this world called Adonia, meaning 'land of dreams'.  It seems that the black dragon, Taroth, whoever he is, has taken over the land.  War was about to begin between the Black Kingdom and the Crystal Kingdom.  I was also told that I was the princess of he Crystal Kingdom.  My word, I felt awkward with how blasé my reaction was to all these.  Me?  A princess?

      Time warped before my eyes.  I heard the ringing of chainmails, swords and shields banging against each other.  War.  War was about to start.  Taroth crawled out of the Black Castle gates, smoothly like a serpent.  His wings spread out like eagle in flight.  "Ready, my princess?"  Doyle came to my side.  "Is this war really necessary?"  My voice quivered.  Fear, fear was definitely there to rock me of my stance.  The creatures from my kingdom howled and roared, ready for the battle to come.  Taroth  roared magnificently, a roar so loud that it shook the earth.  One.  Two.  Three...  "CHARGE!!"  I yelled at the top of my voice.  Everyone charged forward.  Taroth came straight for me, spitting flames to scourge me.  It felt as if, that this war between the kingdoms, would go to Taroth.

      I fell of my horse and there came Taroth to pin me down with his claws.  Death was near.  His jaws opened and everything went black.  "Am... Am I dead?"  Light came back to my eyes and I found myself panting.  I was back in my room.  I let out a sigh.  "It was just a dream!"  I proclaimed.  The feeling though was real, very real.  And that was when I saw the crystal Doyle had given me in the dream, a Blue Sky crystal. A crystal that will bring me back home, back to Adonia.  "It was never a dream..."

Bloom Again

Well, it's just gonna be a short post this time.
I took this photo on the way back home after buying lunch this afternoon.
-
Hmm, I think I deleted a post about this tree. It was full of pink flowers during the New Year. (I'm so stupid... Shouldn't have deleted that post >.<)
-
My wish for this tree is that it will blossom again with pink flowers next year, just like Sakuras in Japan. :D
This is the only thing closest to home that reminds me of it, never been there but I hope to go there someday.
-
Even when it doesn't have flowers or leaves right now, it's beautiful. I love it. <3
Nature sure has a thousand gifts for us. :3

Emailed by Aki §

☿ Note Entry : A Treat For You (Drawing)

By : Lyanne

Big Lost & Dreams

Hey blogger dudes and gals!
I have MIAed for almost a month now.
There isn't a single reason that can be given for why I have went missing from the face of my blog.
The simplest I can say is, "I was weak... " :P

Okay, okay. Enough with my fooling around.
My apologies to all readers of my blog today.
I have had a big lost of motivation in updating my baby right here.
I can't actually find the main source of my sudden decrease in interest for blogging.
But, maybe I can blame the slow-paced lifestyle I seem to be going through for the past month.
There was nothing that happened that made me say : "AH! I have to capture this moment and share it to the world" kindasituation.
Nothing made my mind click.
So... I went stagnant because of that.

Also, now that I have suddenly experienced a few things,
I'm reaching out to you guys to help me handle something that my mere heart and mind can't...
The mind-blowing dreams I've been having since three days ago.

Sorry to say this but I can't spill any of the beans of what I dreamt.

Have you ever heard someone saying that if you dreamt of someone in your dreams, he/she might be thinking of you?
Even say that there's a connection between you and the person that appeared in the dream?
A dream that is filled with emotions that feels so real when you wake up at the end of it?
Or maybe, a touch that lingers even after the dream has ended?
Have you experienced that before?

Fuyu also has a picture like this. We took in in class together :)

The main question from me this very moment is,

Do YOU (lovely readers) out there believe in fate?

Do YOU believe in eternal mates? Soul mates?

Now that I think back on the dreams I've had,
there is actually a possibility that they might be true.
Fuyu tells me that God might be showing me something that might happen in the future,
A few hints from Heavenly Father above is surely comforting. :)

In conclusion to this (very boring) update,
To all believers and non-believers of fate,
I pray that you will and have already found your true and eternal love.
Lyanne loves you! (>‿◠)✌